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Words in relationships

Relationships are spoken into being. Words are used to craft the very context and nature of our relationships . Given the inherent creation power of words it is clear that our own relationship with words can be a strong predictor of the quality and health of our relationships at large.

Davidson and Brianna Schuyler found that one of the strongest predictors of well-being worldwide is the quality of our relationships.

Digitised relationships

We live in a world where the use of words is increasingly being minimised to emoticons. Where we are physically close, electronically connected but emotionally distant. Relationships are increasingly fragmented since many of the bonds that once connected people are eroding.

Meaningful personal relationships are being replaced by impersonal digital connection and people are growing further and further apart. Technology ensures that the “I” is everywhere but here, in the present. The constant spread of digital connection deeper and deeper into peoples lives leaves them with feelings of isolation, stress and unhappiness.

Have we stopped to considered what this means for the quality of our relationships going forward?

Humanising relationships

If our desire is to build lasting, meaningful relationships, our conversations are in desperate need of change. We need to engage each other in the “old fashioned” way making actual eye contact and connecting with our words. Consideration needs to be given to unpacking the assumptions we hold about each other. We need to ask ourselves what level of accountability we are prepared to take for our contribution to a difficult situation within the relationship. Are we willing to surrender our right to blame another?

Relationships do not only end because of what we do to each other. They end because of what we say to each other on a continuous basis. They end because of who we need to become to stay in them.

Humanity cannot afford to remain trapped in believing that others are personally responsible for how they feel about themselves within the relationship. We  need to take accountability for speaking life or death into our relationships.

Did you know that of all the emotional language people use worldwide, 50 % is negative, 30% is positive and 20 % neutral? What is the impact of this on our lives? How do your words leave people feeling?


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