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Who’s there? Oestrogen!

Oh, it happens in a blink of an eye.

One morning as you rise from your slumber and make your way sleepily towards the bathroom, you look up, and in an instant, not only are you wide awake, but fear has spread its ice cold tentacles all the way down your spine. You blink, you wipe your eyes, you wildly slap cold water across your frightened face – as you open your eyes once again, praying that it was all a bad dream, the truth dawns on you, your crow has more feet !!!!! 

You have heard about crows feet, you have seen them peeking out, you have never, however, seen them prancing about as  “loud and proud” as they are this morning. Slowly you realise that the time has come to accept that there is absolutely nothing frikken graceful about ageing.

Who ever had the damn audacity to coin the phrase “growing old gracefully”? Has anyone ever even met Grace?

Somewhere between 50 and a well deserved orgasm

So, I write this because I have no clue why it is that woman, the same ones who spent most of their life fighting to be the “cover girl” idea of what a woman is expected to look like – AND of course the same one that needs to be SUPER MOM, HOT in bed, the CHEF in the kitchen and please, if you don’t mind, earn your own money – that one, you remember her – suddenly she is expected to knit booties and toilet bowl covers. Giggle, as she places her glasses on the bridge of her nose, deciding which purple rinse she is going to select to cover the grey? How did that happen?

Let me tell you, it happened while the boys were slipping into their leathers (or shall I say squeezing and grunting their way into them) and sliding onto their recently purchased Harley – because, that is what boys over 50 do, and it is encouraged by their buddies and definitely considered “cool”.

So they roar around on Harleys, while woman sit around quietly, behaving as woman over 50 are expected to – curlers and slippers. Their most exciting gift being the new tumble dryer, because buying that Harley is simply not what woman of a certain age do, and guess what, their friends agree.

WTF ? 

I ask myself why this happens, how does it happen? My answer is – woman allow it to happen, woman are the ones saying things such as ” at my age …….”, “you know I am over 50 now, I can do that anymore”, and on to goes as we reduce our world to nothing but expectations from a society that has no idea how to value a woman beyond her looks and body shape.

Now I don’t hear men doing that, they refuse to reduce themselves to anything other than “hot and ready” – whether they are overweight, have some missing teeth, and have not seen their toes for years, they 100% believe that they can “hook” that “hotty “and you know what, often, far too often than what seems normal, they do and leave us wide eyed and confused. They believe in themselves, even when you cannot find a single solitary reason why, they still do.

What are the woman doing?

spank your wild woman

This is an invitation, hell no, it’s a damn instruction.

Let her fly, dance naked in the rain, just get naked, howl with the full moon and celebrate menopause ! Don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do, more importantly don’t YOU be the one telling yourself what you can or can’t do – you are capable of absolutely anything, celebrate your body, sip a glass of wine with those crows, actually to hell with sipping, down it like a teenager on prom night!  Know that you have reached that magical age where you never need to worry about an unwanted pregnancy – liberate yourself to enjoy sex for the sake of it, because eventually, you know exactly what you want and you have no need to fake it.

You have after all populated the world, and that, my darling is a job well worth celebrating, to hell with the Harleys.

Post 50 – lets celebrate each other and stop being our own harshest critics.  Who cares about the waistline – what is your story? Where have your feet touched the earth, what does the song of your soul sound like, do you know your wild woman and when last have you embraced her without judgement? What is that illusive female orgasm or is that simply just too much to consider?

Now is the time to set her free, watch her fly and listen to what she has to say – she is wise beyond years and more sexy than you have ever imagined – why don’t you embrace her, why don’t we encourage each other rather than always finding fault with each other and ourselves?

You are a WOMAN.

Release all the “I cants” and embrace all your dreams, the wild ones, the ones that make you shudder in the most inappropriate manner. Know that you have been harbouring a hero, set her free and accept that she has always known, that she has always had the answers, you had just seldom stopped to listen – know that now is the time.

You are love, you are woman.

“She dances to the songs in her head, speaks with the rhythm of her heart, and loves from the depths of her soul” – Dean Jackson.




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