As far as stories go, most of us know the story about Icarus, right? It’s the story of the boy who refused to listen to his Dad (how dare he 😳) and flew far higher than he was told. As a result of his disobedience, the sun melted his wings, and he was unceremoniously plunged into the sea, resulting in his untimely death.
Now, the primary lesson of the story is a cautionary tale about the dangers of ambition or a lack of moderation. Obey the king, don’t imagine yourself to be better than you are, and don’t fly too high, they say. Be aware of dreaming too big, we are warned. Play small, fit in, follow the rules, and be obedient; this is the safe and accepted route.
The story
In Seth Godin‘s book, The Icarus Deception, he shares that we have only been told part of the Icarus story. The other equally important part we are not told is that besides being told not to fly too high, Icarus was also instructed not to fly too low, too close to the sea. Flying too close to the water would ruin the lift in his wings. Seth notes that society has altered the myth, encouraging us to forget the dangers of settling for too little. You see, it is far more dangerous to fly too low than too high because flying low feels so safe.
We are lured by the illusion of safety and almost naturally settle for low expectations and small dreams, guaranteeing ourselves far less than we are capable of.
However, never assume that what makes you comfortable or accepted makes you safe.
The great surrender
How often do you surrender your dream because it is easier than committing to a new way of thinking? It is less risky not to question the status quo and upset those whose opinions matter so much. The same ones who are seldom there when your soul screams from frustration in the silence of the night.
Many dreams never become a reality, dying slowly, not because we don’t have what it takes but because we choose not to pursue them. We choose the illusion of safety and the approval from others. Why rock the boat, taking those unnecessary, foolish risks, while everyone is looking at you with those wide rolling eyes? Will the risk even be worth it? No, it’s definitely better to stay safe and benefit from the nods of approval around you as you yet again squeeze your soul into that tiny, uncomfortable box.
Seth Godin states that the art of moving forward lies in understanding what to leave behind.
Humans have evolved to seek safety and a dependable future, something we can count on. We are taught to be reasonable, focused, and plan for a safe future.
You are constantly reminded to take what you can get with gratitude, protect it, and keep your head down. I am not proposing that we surrender being grateful; however, gratitude ≠complacency. Grateful or not, the dream, that silent knowing there is more for you, keeps showing up. It knocks in the still of the night, sometimes far louder than other times. Never entirely silent, constantly pushing you to take a risk because although it may be uncertain, won’t it also be worth it?
How long will you continue to choose compliance and silent obedience over inspiration?
Your decision
The question you have to answer for yourself is not whether your dream is worth pursuing or whether you have what it takes to make it a reality. It is whether you are willing to make the choices needed to make it a reality.
How much of your soul and dreams have been traded for safety, belonging, and that external nod of approval? How long will others decide what’s important to you?
We all have that internal voice when it comes to following our dreams. You know, the one that shouts, “Who are you to think you can do this? You will fail and look like a fool; what qualifies you to do this? You are a fraud.”
I am so sorry to tell you that “the voice” does not belong to you. Oh no, we all have “the voice,” screaming from that foot-stomping reptilian brain so desperate for safety. It is not interested in your fulfillment, liberation, or thriving; it only seeks safety.
A quick reminder, though: the louder it shouts, the closer you are to doing something that matters, something that only you were born to do.
Now what shall we do with the “voice”?
My strategy
My “voice” strategy is as follows: whether it whispers in the dead of night or screams out in the middle of the day, I thank it for working so hard to keep me safe (remembering, that’s its job). I acknowledge it for always looking out for me and for having my back. Then I gently take its nervous little hand, give it a warm hug, and partner with it. I tell it that I won’t allow it to stand in my way; however, I am excited for it to walk alongside me as I start making courageous new decisions.
Oh, I have had to do this often; once seldom calms the fear-filled reptilian brain down for long. However, over time, the voice has quietened down a little. As I courageously face my fears, overcome disappointments, and survive, it has started building a little more faith in me, gaining some trust, and even offering me a crooked smile now and then 🙂.
Your one life
When you choose to show up in your own life, taking risks to live your dreams, you will get varied reactions from those around you. Most of these will sadly not be encouragement or celebration. You see, the risks you are taking and the decisions you are making might be rocking the comfortable boats they are floating in.
They want you to remain the same because that means they are not required to make any changes. So they will fight to keep you as you are, trapped and living the life they carved out for you with their demands and expectations. This is when you must remember that their reaction isn’t yours; it belongs to them. Remember, it is highly unlikely that your dream will magically materialize without you being willing to do something that involves some risk. To get what you never had, you are required to do things you have never done.
Seth Godin reminds us that leaping into the void without a clearly defined map invites failure, terror, and, yes, brilliance.
In the end, failure is not taking a risk and getting it wrong, getting up and doing it again and again. Your biggest failure is not having the courage to do that thing you dream of.
Will you choose to leap or continue to play it safe while silently wishing for another reality?
Will you choose to rescue your dream from a slow, premature death?
“The art of compromise is knowing when not to” – Jason Fox