bonita blog images 2024

Resolutions? What?

Another 365 days await; by now, it’s closer to 355 and counting. So, how exactly are those “resolutions” working for you?

No, I am not an “anti-resolutionist” (my own word, Grammarly, a little human freedom, ok) 😂.

I do, however, find that most resolutions start something like “this year, I will try to exercise more often,” ” I will try to consume less sugar,” or “I will try to find another more satisfying job.” Maybe for the honest risk-takers out there, “I will try to find a different partner” (generally, this is a very quietly expressed resolution for apparent reasons).

My POINT?

Is this – when we are trying, we are preparing for those well-practiced and often initially, seemingly genuine BUTs?

Almost everyone who “tries” ends up with “but’s”. “I tried to exercise, but my knees just cannot do it,” I tried to eat less sugar, but my energy levels plummet mid-day, and I need a boost.” Or ” I tried to find another job, but you know, these updated CV’s companies ask for are just so difficult to complete. I don’t know why they cannot accept my original 8-page CV” 🙂.

“I tried to leave my controlling partner, but I don’t think finding someone else out there is easy. You know the world is full of strange people; it best I just settle for what I have”.

What do you hear?

What do you hear when you read the above? I hear excuses. Plain and simple, old-school excuses we use to self-validate our lack of commitment. And the biggest problem is that the well-intentioned humans around us will say something like, “Well, at least you tried,” or “No one can say you didn’t try.” These same humans seldom ask us whether we did our very best or what we will do differently to move toward our goals, right?

I say it started on the wrong foot entirely because you did not commit to doing anything. You only said you would “try”.

Trying keeps us safe; it does not require courage, digging deep, finding alternatives, and learning. Trying quickly allows you off the hook and in doing so steals your dreams.

Those who know me know by now that try is a very low-energy word, attracting low energy. I highly recommend removing it entirely from one’s vocabulary 🙂.

The difference with people who make commitments is that they don’t fail; they don’t need excuses because what they search for when things don’t work out quite as they imagined are explanations. Yes, explanations rather than excuses.

The difference

Excuses are focused on blame and the myriad of reasons not to do something or continue with something. They do not offer any learning, insights, or growth. They do not develop the tenacity, resilience, or grit required for success.

Now, explanations are very different. When you look for an explanation, you are interested in learning, finding new ways to do things, considering alternatives, never giving up. Willing to make the required changes, eager to get going again and apply the lessons learned. A person who searches for explanations is someone committed to their goal, someone who will not allow obstacles to rob them of their desired outcomes, even when they are disappointed.

A committed person never only “tries”; they do their very best, knowing that sometimes their best may not be enough in a specific situation. When that happens, they look to learn what can be done differently to achieve their desired outcomes and what lessons can be taken away from the experience.

At times, the desired results need to be reviewed and possibly tweaked. Fixed beliefs and limited worldviews do not impede them because they believe in their commitment. They remain curious and will find a way to reach their endpoint without the desperate need for human accolades and affirmation.

They know what they committed to, they know why this matters to them, and they are crystal clear about how these commitments enable the story they want to tell about their life.

Your one thing

What is the one thing you are willing to commit to in 2024?

Yes, one genuine commitment is worth far more than all those frivolous “tries” 🙂.

What is that one thing that will make 2024 entirely different from all the years preceding it?

The one thing that will ensure 2024 is the life-changing chapter in your life story.

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