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Let’s tango (the dance of possibilities)

Life is essentially about rhythm, a tango. A delicate dance between polarities, that magical place where possibilities open up.

At this time of the year, we find ourselves surrounded by discussions covering a wide array of topics related to women and the feminine. It is in the spirit of this narrative that I wish to share my meandering thoughts on just such a topic.

The dance of duality

We often talk about the female form and the feminine. I believe, however, that we need to be aware of confining feminine energy to only the female form. For a long time, we have seen the dominance of male energy, not only in our families and our societies but also within our organisations. This energy, although inherent in both male and female form, has certainly been dominantly displayed in the male form, because boys don’t cry; they hunt, they do battle, they go to war. They are also fathers, lovers and gentle souls.

Of course, both forms of energy have crucial roles to play, however, when balance is lost and one of the energies are suppressed, our lives lose their natural rhythm. We lose our magic, we become frayed at the edges, and the passion that should fuel us is replaced by ego and greed, hate and loneliness, treated by medication, alcohol and work. We become a society that no longer functions optimally, one that cries for love when alone at night, when no one can see.

Over the years, women have increasingly taken on more masculine energy since it was and remains revered within the corporate environment. This often requires women to relinquish much of that female energy required to ensure essential ebb and flow.

You all know that beautiful dance, the tango. The music starts, the rhythm pulsing through the audience and as the male moves onto the stage and starts dancing, every man in the audience wants to be him because every woman in the audience wants to be in his arms, and it is incredible. As he moves to the music that keeps increasing in beat the woman arrives on stage and the audience gasps since she moves in ways most can only imagine. Individually they have you captivated, each with their own rhythm, their unique moves and essential charisma.

After a few minutes of dancing as individuals, they come together, and a fire is ignited, a passion and energy unlocked that allows them to achieve together what neither could possibly have achieved individually. It is in the coming together of these two energies that possibilities are unlocked. The creation of a space with neither one taking from the other, neither expecting the other to give up an aspect of self; no sacrifice required. It is in this space they give each other that they collectively unlock the magic, drawing admiration from the wide-eyed audience.

This is the nature of masculine and feminine energy in flow. This is the magic we need back in our homes, our societies and our corporates.

How are they different?

You may be asking what the real difference between the two is. I will note a few comparisons to ensure we acknowledge the need for both while remaining acutely aware of the risk of one or the other dominating.

Masculine energy                                       Feminine energy

Doing                                                              Being

Analytical                                                       Intuitive

Rushing                                                          Nurturing

Logical                                                            Creative

Of course, masculine energy has served us well to date. We are able to run production lines seamlessly, we are exceptional at project management, linearity is our dominance and in the field of quantitative analytics, we have surpassed most expectations. What we need more of now is balance and wholeness, not because it is a nice-to-have, but because our homes, our societies and organisations’ survival depend on it.

The gift of the feminine is in bringing more heart into the world. The feminine displays itself naturally as connectors, working well as part of a team and finding it easier to suspend agendas in order to listen fully and welcome the ideas of others.

The feminine finds it far easier to love unconditionally, and what the world needs now is unconditional love, since this is the only energy that has the power to heal the collective pain.

The invitation

Never underestimate your value as a woman. Far too often you negotiate down when you should be holding your ground. How often do you say yes, when you actually mean no? How often do you stand back when you should be leading, smile when your heart is breaking, or give up your dream because you are a mother or a wife?

You are filled with empathy, passion, playfulness, strength and courage. You are vibrant, you are the encapsulation of the feminine, you are WOMAN.

Love is what you were born with, fear is what you have learnt here, and as you liberate yourself from your own fear, your presence automatically liberates others.

Maya Angelou asked, “why does a caged bird keep singing?” – because it remains reminded of what is possible, what it was born for.

What were you born for?

Remember that if nothing changes, if you don’t change, your future will be no different from your past.

The future is now, and it’s in your hands. You are the magic you have been looking for.

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