bonita blog images exhausted 2

Fresh elastic for “stretched” out humans

Personally, the idea of December evokes an overwhelmingly strong desire to run away screaming, shutting out the world, sliding into perfect “slouch” position, on a “wrap your arms around me” couch, in an undisclosed location, doing absolutely NOTHING 😂.

I also know it’s definitely not just me. We all seem 180% “stretched out” and in desperate need of some “fresh elastic” before we crash headlong into 2023. Doomed to repeat 2022 all over again, only a shit load faster, leaving us feeling more frizzled, fried and exhausted come December 2023 (if that were even possible).

I am increasingly using F#@# like a comma, and from being what I always thought was a reasonably kindish human, I have definitely morphed into a raging, wild eyed, “don’t even look at me” half human 😂.

So what the hell is up with humans these days, or more aptly what the hell is up with me?

More, more, more

Not only have we all worked like lunatics to make up 2 years in 1 (thanks Covid), we are also spinning frantically in a world continuously demanding MORE, MORE & MORE from each one of us. More success, more money, more progress, more “likes”, more followers, more parties, more promotions, more sex, more, more, more.

And while everything and everyone is yelling and demanding more ………….

All I want is more TIME, and less “to do” lists, less pretense happy nods, less faking a smile, oh and less damn video calls – really? As if we didn’t need to take at least a 15 minute break between meetings once upon a time. NO, now we just have them all steam rolling into one, as we speak into emptiness, silently wondering how many people on the other side are awake, or even dressed for that matter 😳.

We are human beings people, and our bodies need some time “off”. Switch OFF now are the warning signs flashing around as we get ill, become depressed, suffer from anxiety, face broken relationships, and yet we keep “doing” and “doing”, rushing and running away from ourselves.

So why don’t we take that break, that time out to just “BE”?

Does this ever demanding MORE really comes from the outside, or is it self created?

Yes, I see you rolling your eyes skywards, silently wording “as if I would willingly do this to myself” – no ways. This, all of this is what it takes these days to be relevant, to make it, to matter, to be worthy, to be respected, to put my kids through school, to keep my partner, my friends.

Is that a fact? Or is it only a fact because you say so? Or because you have been led to believe that this is the only truth?

As for me

I am so damn tired of “doing” all the time, doing this, then doing that, then doing anything to avoid not doing anything because apparently doing nothing is being LAZY, and who in their right minds wants to be seen as lazy in a world obsessed with being busy, no ways, not me.

You see we have entirely forgotten that we are human beings NOT human doings. When do we actually take the time to simply BE? Do you even remember how to be anymore, did you ever know? I don’t recall ever being taught how to “be”, do you?

Yes, you may steal a few guilty minutes away to meditate, or breath, as long as it fits into your well crafted daily schedule and does not interfere with any of your doing.

When do you prioritize YOU?

When do you prioritise YOU without any guilt?

No, lying sprawled on the massage table while tapping that internal foot, as you silently count the minutes until you can get back to your laptop, “because you should really not have taken the hour for this massage”, does not count as “being”.

Why are we so Ok with carrying around a heavy heart, a dead soul and a perpetually exhausted body all in the name of “mattering”, of doing what the world sees as worthy and relevant?

Yes, I get that doing something meaningful with our lives matters, generating an income matters. Yes, looking after our families and volunteering matters, however at what cost? Are ALL those things really that important, the new car, the new house, the latest smart TV?

You get where I am going with this. We are an exhausted, depressed, anxious generation trapped by “stuff”, chasing things, controlled by technology and desperate to simply BE.

Now I am not saying that you should immediately sell up, drag your entire family into the woods, living off the land and in a tent. Although sometimes that seems like a damn fine idea to me, as long as I can take wine, loads of wine, hold the ice if you have to just give me the wine 😁.

I am asking you to take a look at all your “doing”, review all those things you are constantly chasing and ask yourself whether what “so and so” thinks truly matters so much that you steal time from your family, your children, yourself? Damaging your health, your sleep, your peace of mind?

How much does it take to be happy? Do all these things truly bring you joy? Do they replace genuinely fulfilling relationships, purpose, meaning, connection? Do they buy you more time?

My night time stalkers (aka questions)

These are the random questions bombarding me at 2am in the morning these days. I know that much of my “doing” is related to my purpose, my passion, and what I believe I was born for, yet I also know, deep down inside that there remains much frantic activity that is fear based.

What I am realising though is that knowing my purpose is one thing, “being” the person that allows the fulfillment of my purpose is an entirely different matter. One that needs some of my incredibly fragmented attention.

How do we live our lives to the fullest when we are so seldom available to do the “living”?

How long will we only serve ego? Now let me just say that ego rocks, it keeps us safe, it does all it can to ensure we don’t take risks, or heaven forbid, get rejected by society, without it we would be doomed, so no judging ego. It’s just that, as Ram Dass says, ego is a wheelchair. It’s a beautiful wheelchair. Use it, enjoy it. Just don’t think it is you. Don’t take yourself so very, very personally.

How much of all our doing is directed at serving ego, and how much is directed at all of you, because in fact you are way more than just your ego 🙂. True story humans.

2023 fresh elastic

My thoughts for generating 2023 “fresh elastic” are ………..

To be honest I have no frikken idea. No, not one, nothing, zero , nada.

No deep meaningful answers and no illuminating insights on this one. I do have a whole bunch of practical ideas, some steps and actions that could assist on a practical level. However I don’t believe that any more practicality is going to help me grow the “fresh elastic” I need to live more fully, find more flow, be more available to my own life.

I am getting the sense it’s going to be more of an inside job. A journey to some of those unseen places. One we so often put on hold while juggling all the doing, because “doing” is always easier than the “being”.

I know I cannot plug out of life and simply be (sometimes wish I could 😂). I also know that excess is no good, whether is be excessive being or doing. 2022 has definitely been a year of excessive “doing” for me, and my soul is yelling out for just a little more “being”.

So my aim is to “be” more of and “do” just a little less of the following 🙂:

Well, perhaps I can at the very least use the above as a regular point of reflection. A mirror to notice the quality of that “fresh elastic” I plan to cultivate for 2023.

I am excited about giving “being” more of my attention in 2023, now let’s just trust that the “doing” knows it’ damn place 🙂.

The Sufi poet, Hafiz says that God only knows four words, and keeps repeating them, saying: “Come dance with ME”.

I have missed dancing, and I love it so, perhaps that’s where I have always met God? Just a random thought.

I choose to “be” more available for the “dance” 🙂.

You?

Surrender ≠ Giving Up

Surrender = embracing uncertainty, letting go of the illusion of control, and realising how constantly fighting for it exhausts us. Rumi advises, “Embrace uncertainty; only

Resolutions? What?

Another 365 days await; by now, it’s closer to 355 and counting. So, how exactly are those “resolutions” working for you? No, I am not

1 Makes a Difference

We are swiftly again moving closer to that moment you jump from one year into another in a blink of an eye. Yes, I am

Power of story

We all live in a story; the one we tell, the one we were told, or a combination of the two. Humans do not live

Take the leap

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” – Wayne Gretzky How many dreams are doomed to early graves because people are simply too

Data: solving for “I”

How did you become your “I”? Think about it, how did you first know that you were an “I”. Who was your “I” relative to