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A quick call to “remember”

Have you found yourself feeling just a tad off-colour lately? Maybe tired, down, lacking energy or focus?

When I find myself lacking that vital energy required to live each day fully, I know that I need to slow down for a moment, go back to basics and take stock of the four things I genuinely believe play a huge role in either draining or revitalising my energy resources.

Don Miguel Ruiz and The Four Agreements

I love Don Miguel Ruiz’s writing and his Four Agreements make so much sense and are so simple. They are my North Star and often lead me directly to where I have allowed my energy to be drained. Many of you will know of these agreements, some will recall them, few will leverage them in their daily lives.

This is an invitation to make them a part of your life and watch your life force grow, bringing more joy and less resistance into your life.

  1. Be impeccable with your word – mean what you say and say what you mean. This is not an invitation to use your words loosely or to hurt people with your words. It is the opportunity to use your words responsibly, to think about them before they fly into the world, impacting all who are touched by them. Let your yes be yes and your no be no. Don’t say yes when you mean no, don’t say no when you want to say yes. If you promised your son you would play tennis with him on Saturday morning, just do it irrespective of how you may feel as a result of a long and tough week. If you find an excuse not to honour your word due to how you may be feeling you are teaching your son that feelings are far more important than your word. When he later in life tells you that although he said he would study, he didn’t because he didn’t feel like it, don’t wonder where this behaviour comes from. Don’t you think our world is desperately in need of more people who can be counted on to do what they say?
  2. Don’t take things personally – what other people do is not always, in fact, it is very seldom about you, so let it go. You are not defined by what others think, say or do unless you let these things define you. Do not become attached to the views of the world, since this only robs you of your joy. Learn what there is to learn from the situation and then let it go with a smile in your soul.
  3. Don’t make assumptions – assumptions truly are the seed of many unfortunate situations. Don’t do it. If you are uncertain what someone means, ask. If you lack clarity in any situation, ask and get the required clarity. Would you jump out of a plane assuming you had a parachute? Why do this with your life? Never take your next step in life based on an assumption. We all know that doing this very seldom ends well.
  4. Always do your best – in everything you do, always do the best that you can with what you have and from where you are. Accept that at times your versions of best will differ. When you run a race feeling healthy and well-rested your best will be different to the day you run the race on a bad nights sleep with a headache. Don’t constantly judge yourself by comparing the two outcomes. The only question to honestly answer is, did I do my best in a given situation?
In the end

In my case whenever I find myself feeling off-colour (every single time once I had the courage to be brutally honest with myself,  surrendering all the convenient excuses and letting go of blaming everyone including the dog) I can trace it back to having broken one, or much to my wide-eyed horror, every one of the 4 agreements.

I was either feeling bad because my word lacked credibility, I committed to doing something and I didn’t honour my commitment, or I had taken something personally and it was eating me up inside. Other times I had made terrible assumptions which resulted in poor decisions or outcomes, and lastly, in certain situations, I had simply not given my best effort,  resulting in a crappy outcome for which I had only myself to blame.

Once I had given myself a serious “what the hell are you thinking” heart-to-heart, or as it is called today, a DMC, and got back in line with these four simple agreements my life-force returned, I felt more optimistic, aligned to my purpose once again and I experienced far more joy. I was simply a lot more pleasant to be around (Sam can attest to this one).

Oh, and for those who are not clear on what a DMC is, it apparently means a Deep Meaningful Conversation. It’s apparently a real thing.

Now is the moment to mend your broken promises and feel the magic return, allowing all things to once again become possible as your life fills with joy.

You just have to trust your own madness, darling.

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